March 17, 1997 – Cancer Sucks!
During the past two days, I have noticed many instances of random tears. Most of the time, they seem to come from nowhere, but other times, I am aware of what triggered them. For example, we watched two pre-recorded episodes of Nova last night which dealt with cancer. Most of the people on the shows were in much worse shape than I, and I felt compassion for their suffering. I realized that it was also my suffering and I wanted my life back. Another example: today, my daughter’s best friend’s mother had a lumpectomy, and I felt badly for her. Much of the time, I simply feel the tragedy of the disease.
Other than these random acts of crying, I’ve had a pretty productive day. I did an adequate job at work, and although I felt nauseous most of the day, I managed to get by. Naturally, my afternoon “mind story” was quite helpful, both in calming my nausea and allowing me to relax and visualize the cancer shrinking.