April 13, 1997 – Reframing a Bad Day
I’m having a bad cancer day today. I woke up feeling tense and anxious and it took me around two hours to get in touch with what the problem was. I was feeling all of the financial pressure of paying for my cancer care and at the same time, keeping my household in order. Before I had cancer, we were already stretched to the limit, having chosen to spend our money on our children’s education. Now, with the added stress of medical bills not covered by insurance, I’m really feeling the pinch. Just talking with friends and family and writing about it relieves the pain a little, and now I’m feeling more centered.
I got another email from R. M. in New Zealand. He had his TUR and it went well.
I managed to get myself out to play a little tennis this afternoon. This, combined with the advice from M. C., who gave me the massages when I returned home from the hospital on January 31, helped to finally lift me out of the bad day. M. C. suggested that I reframe my financial worries into gratitude that the cancer was found in time and pay the bills with thanksgiving for the opportunity to explore my life and bring my cancer under control. I took her suggestions to heart and now I’m feeling much better.
I also spoke with my brother, Max. He gave me some valuable suggestions for copyrighting this work and finding a publisher! I’m really grateful for his suggestions.