Welcome to those of you who have been invited to view this page and other pages related to the 2013 Episode.
What is the 2013 episode?
I have a new muscle invasive bladder cancer that revealed itself at the end of 2013.
Throughout the ensuing period, my mindfulness practice has kept me positive and open to new possibilities. By now, three months have passed and mindfulness remains my true home and my refuge.
I am convinced that I will be able to maintain a mindful attitude, no matter what happens.
Here are the events that have occurred to date. I’ll try to keep my comments brief.
On this day, November 21,2013, I had a cystocopic exam by Dr. Neuwirth, my urologist of 17 years. I like to have my exams just before Thanksgiving so I can relate the good news to my family and friends.
Dr. Neuwirth did not see anything at all! We celebrated together.
Now that you have completed reading Stop Cancer in its Tracks: How to Embrace Mindfulness in Healing, please consider doing what you can to help people who are suffering. Many people can be relieved of certain types of suffering by following a daily routing of mindfulness meditation, exercise, and self-compassion.
Almost immediately after my first glimpse of being cancer free (which was not true) I felt like I had something to give back to my community in some form other than my daily posts on my website. I played around with the name Mindfulness and ART in Healing for a while and even was invited to teach a sample class in late July of 1997. The class was a success and this was as far as it went at that time in my life.
Between 1998 and 2004, I bought my first house, lost my job, found another, cleaned up a significant mudslide at our house, lost my job again, started an internet business with a friend, and was hired by the Technical Committee (TC) of the Department of Justice (DoJ) to monitor Microsoft’s compliance with the settlement agreement. In the first two months of this assignment, I discovered documentation errors that triggered a massive effort by the TC and the DoJ to hire 50 more engineers to monitor Microsoft. I was able to get jobs for many of my friends and this brought me a lot of joy.
We would get together about once a week to discuss technical issues and I was extremely happy with the progress we made and the benefits of working on a team.
As we smoothly established our rhythm, I began to look for ways to give back to my community again. This led me to serve on the Board of Directors of the Marin AIDS Project and the Community Council of the Institute for Health and Healing concurrently between 2007 and 2010. These opportunities to participate in the greater good of my community inspired me to develop my own program.
Thus, on the Summer solstice of 2009, I held the first Mindfulness in Healing group at the Pine Street Clinic in San Anselmo, California on Wednesday nights. We had been gathering there to meditate on a regular basis for about a year as a sangha (spiritual community) for about a year. Our sangha was formed in 2001 and interest in it faded in early 2009, so I took the opportunity to start the group.
The principles of Mindfulness in Healing are derived from the teachings of mindfulness applied to health and healing. Together with my partner, Carolyn DeFay, L. C. S. W. we offer a safe space for people to come and share with us about what is going on in their lives.
Compassionate listening and loving speech are the foundations of our sharing practice. As mindfulness deepens awareness of our experience we find new ways to enhance our own well-being. We become able to transform our suffering and find freedom in the present moment, embracing a feeling of wellness.
We offer guided meditation and relaxation exercises to help promote a calm, clear mind and a peaceful, loving heart. This energy supports us in accepting our challenges just as they are and leads to increased well-being and wellness.
I discovered that I have a knack for feeling what is going on in the group and spontaneously offer a valuable guided meditation that everyone enjoys. This has been the most wonderful take away from the almost four years (as I write this in May, 2013) of holding Mindfulness in Healing.
It is with great joy that either Carolyn or myself and most often, both of us open the doors of the Pine Street Clinic to all who want to come. Our drop-in format is flexible and works very well. You are welcome to join in whenever you are in the neighborhood.
Sterling Silver Buddha | Collection of Jerome Freedman
We begin with the question: What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the act of deliberately paying full attention to what is going on in the present moment without judgment. I’m sure you have experienced moments of mindfulness sometime in your life. These moments of mindfulness can come when you see a beautiful sunset or gaze down on your infant child in awe or in many other common circumstances. You know where you are and what you are doing. The only difference between mindfulness and what you do in everyday life is the quality of awareness. If you are eating something from a fast food restaurant on the run, this is not mindfulness. If you are carrying on a conversation with someone and your attention is on what you will be doing next, this is not mindfulness. But if you are listening to someone with your full attention as if there were nothing else to do in that moment, this is mindfulness.
I am reminded of the Japanese poem:
Sitting quietly,
Doing nothing,
Spring comes,
And the grass grows all by itself!
As the poem states, mindfulness in sitting quietly implies “doing nothing!†In order to achieve this, all you do is sit there!
When we are mindful, we know what we are experiencing in or body, feelings, mind and the contents of the mind. When we pay attention to what is going on in our body, we recognize the life force pulsating throughout our whole being. We recognize the miracle of being alive, which we usually take for granted.  Even so, the miracle is still here, nonetheless. At any moment, we can become aware of our breathing, whether at our nostrils, in our chest, or in our belly. When we do so, we return to the present moment. When we feel our heart beating in our chest or notice our pulse in our feet, legs, torso, arms, or head, we return to the present moment. When we are out in nature and notice the green leaves, flowers, birds, insects, rocks, yes, and even dog poo, we can return to the present moment.
Our feelings are also gateways to being present. Most of the time, we spend a lot of energy avoiding our feelings by watching TV, eating when we are not hungry, going shopping, or simply denying them. However, if we can experience our feelings in our feelings,they too, can be a doorway to being mindful in the present moment. You may ask, “What does it mean to experience our feelings in our feelings?†It means to simply experience our feelings directly, without adding our thoughts, opinions, judgments, criticisms, notions, or anything else to them. We have to let go and allow our inner wisdom to feel what we are feeling. From this, compassion for ourselves develops and we find more freedom of expression. Good explanation!
Our thoughts consist of images, impulses, feelings, memories, opinions and judgments, plans, worries, fixations, mental constructions, and self-talk– the constant chatter that goes on inside our minds. We also have moments of creativity and insight when we are concentrated on something we love or experience awe at a truly wonderful sight in nature. Our thoughts can get the best of us as they circuit around through our brain. However, with mindfulness, we can bring our mind back to our breath or our body and return to the present moment.
I had my second hyperbaric oxygen therapy today, and it was similar to the first. I was hoping that it would propel me through an hour and a half of tennis without any problems, but I was exhausted after about one hour. I started missing badly after that and had to take a nap before Mindfulness in Healing. By the way, the Mindfulness in Healing Well-being Support group is moving to Tuesday evenings from 7:30 to 9:00 at the Pine Street Clinic.
Thirteen years ago, Michael Broffman told me about hyperbaric oxygen therapy. At that time, it was available in Europe, but now it is available locally. I had previously experienced a session with Dr. Geoffry Saft of Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy in Larkspur, CA. Now I am getting treatments in preparation for BCG.
Today’s experience was quite wonderful. I was relaxed and probably slept a bit. The rest of the time I listened to Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction at the University of Massachusetts. I’ll probably have a treatment every day until the BCG treatments start, and maybe until they end!
Hyperbaric oxygen therapy works by sending oxygen under pressure into the blood stream. The research of Dr. Otto Warburg had proved that oxygen starved cells are more likely to develop cancer than those which have plenty of oxygen. So the theory is that oxygen at higher than atmospheric pressures can facilitate blood flow to the cells.
My appointment with Michael Broffman at the Pine Street Clinic took place this afternoon for about two-and-one-half hours.
It’s all about aging. Bladder cancer is a disease in older men (and women). More about this later.
Michael said that I needed about 50 grams protein/day with about 2 quarts of water, a minimum of 1000 calories, and a low carbohydrate intake. Some of the protein can be gotten from rice or whey powders. This amounts to about .78 grams/kilo of protein. In connection with protein, he mentioned the research of Otto Warburg and Brian Peskin. Warburg got a Nobel Prize for demonstrating that oxygen deprived cells develop cancer. I asked about hyperbaric oxygen therapy and he said that it would be good for this reason.
I asked about what other treatments he would recommend and he gave me three ideas. The first is a substance called Gc-MAF. There is a Google video, which explains, “GcMAF triggers our immune response to cancer. Cancer cells deactivate Gc-MAF. Dr. Nobuto Yamamoto has shown that laboratory preparation and injections of GcMAF bypasses the cancer’s deactivation process and allows the macrophages to attack. This procedure has resulted in 100 percent cure rates for 4 to 7 years, the length of the studies to date. There are no side effects.†Michael said that you had to inject the Gc-MAF to be effective.
The second product in Michael’s bag of tricks is DCA or dichloroacetate. According to the DCA site, DCA “worked to reactivate the apoptosis mechanism of cancer cells, causing rapid shrinkage of tumors in rats. Mitochondrial reactivation represents an entirely new approach to treating cancer.†He recommended taking this during BCG treatments plus about 6 months. The dosage of 500mg corresponds to about 1/8 teaspoon and 100g should last me through the whole treatment. Sodium dichloroacetate can be purchased in Canada, but not in the US.
The third product is resveratrol. According to Life Extension, “Findings from published scientific literature indicate that resveratrol may be the most effective plant extract for maintaining optimal health and promoting longevity.†I’ve know about this for a while and almost ordered it several months ago, but I failed to do so.
Michael recommended several products to try post BCG treatments. These include pomegranate, curcumin and green tea extracts.
The anti-ageing plan begins after BCG with a 24 hour urine test for hormones and their metabolites. The goal is to bring testosterone up to the level of a 35 year old man. There will be herb supplements to support hormone replenishment. Another hormone of interest is aldosterone. A constitutional homeopathic remedy may also be used in this project.
New cancer treatments include HIFU in China. This stands for high intensity focused ultrasound and may now be available in the US.
I spoke about two other conditions that concern me. The first was acid reflux when I have too much food or lots of garlic and onions. Michael told me that the active ingredient in Tagamet, cimetidine is not only good to relive acid indigestion, but it has some immune and cancer fighting qualities. So I guess it is not too bad to rely on this when conditions dictate it.
My sleep problem could be helped by time-release melatonin. He said the blue or red lights don’t upset melatonin metabolism.
Both Mala and I felt really encouraged by this session. It seems like the BCG treatment is just a bump in the road and I should be cancer free when it is complete.
I had my meeting with Dr. Neuwirth this afternoon. The news was not that good. The two polyps were actual T1 tumors, which he removed during the TURBT last week. The good news is that BCG treatments should be quite effective against further tumors. The bad news is that it is my bladder that has to undergo these treatments. Dr. Neuwirth seemed hopeful, however. I start the BCG treatments in two weeks and I have to go once a week for six weeks.
BCG (Bacillus Calmette-Guerin) is a bacterial preparation of a strain of tuberculosis vaccine.  It is instilled in the bladder with a catheter and needs to remain there at least two hours. The last instillation in 1998 lasted 12 years. So if this works as well as the list time, I’ll be 82!
I felt like I had just lost an important tennis match – kind of down and low energy. Fortunately, Lady Catherine (my daughter’s best friend) came for dinner and took a lot of the sting out of the news. After she left, I spoke with Mala and the girls and could feel their love and concern. Their reaction was surprisingly calm, as they have a lot of love for me and know that my mindfulness practices and integrative medicine with get me through.
I spent the morning doing research on new developments in bladder cancer. I visited the Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network and watched some videos from the November, 2009 Patient Forum. The information was kind of distressing. At the same time KGO TV had a special on new developments in cancer and one of the segments was on bladder cancer. Obviously, this was the most interesting segment for me and you can watch it too.
Mother’s day was really nice. The girls made smoke salmon pizza and chocolate covered strawberries which were yummy! The Rossmans shared the meal and the day with us until late in the afternoon.
Today, the bleeding was less and by the early evening, it stopped.
My girls came by for lunch and Carolyn came over as they were leaving. Having company helped me keep my mind off of my bladder. My main concern is still how to prevent further polyps.
