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Anna’s Back!

I phoned the radiation oncology department to find out the results of my X-Ray from last Thursday. The person who answered the phone said that the results were wonderful! I had her repeat the statement three times just to be sure I got it!

I went to Gail Teehan’s Feldenkrais class in Tiburon this morning and then followed her to her office for a Functional Integration (FI) lesson. The class consisted of standing and kneeling lessons that served to loosen up my neck and shoulders. It was more strenuous than any of the previous lessons because we were standing most of the time. The FI session was wonderful! Her healing hands and gentle manipulations of my body made me fully relaxed.

In the evening, I went to Anna‘s class. She shared her experience at the American Dance Festival, and I was exceedingly happy for her triumph! She sparkled with light as she talked about the performances that she led, and she said that the response was phenomenal!


In the class, we did movements that were so similar to the Feldenkrais lesson that it made me realize the beauty of both techniques. Anna incorporated some movements that were familiar to me from doing the “Strengthening Your Immune System Through Mind and Movement” exercises described elsewhere. As tired as I was from a full day of activities, I found the movements we did very invigorating and energy producing. Towards the end of the movement segment, Anna had us develop the theme of gathering, lifting, and sending away. Many of the participants drew pictures of their experience of gathering, lifting, and sending away. My drawing was of the goblet that I had visualized in a guided imagery session with Leslie Davenport. It represents my heart overflowing with love and vital energy. The inverted triangle represents a tap into the universal source of infinite love and vitality.

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Naughty Marietta

My son had a leading role in Victor Herbert’s Naughty Marietta in the San Jose Lyric Theater production today at the Montgomery Theatre in downtown San Jose. He played the part of the villain, Etienne Grandet. His performance was marvelous. His voice was the clearest and most understandable of any of the leading singers. Especially because he is a very nice person, he was a convincing villain.

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Spectacular Fireworks!

I played one set of doubles the morning, and it felt like I had played for three hours after the first time I served. I’m definitely not back to normal, but can you imagine the joy I felt, just hitting the ball after such a long time?

Someone gave Marty Rossman tickets to the A’s game, so we took the girls to the Oakland Coliseum to see the A’s lose 2-0 on two homers by the same guy. The game was followed by the best fireworks display I’d ever seen! It was so much fun! I felt fine, even though I did play tennis in the morning.

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Master Ma

This morning, I had my eyes examined because I broke my frames. I found out that the insurance plan only pays for frames every other year, so I would only be covered for the exam and lenses. I opted to take the frames to the place I bought them, since my prescription hardly changed. They sold me a new frame at a replacement price (basically half of retail) and put the lenses in right on the spot!

After the exam, I went to Marin General Hospital for a Qi Gong lesson with Master Ma. He is Chinese and has been in this country only seven years. Even though his English was broken, I was able to understand what he said. He taught us the basic posture and the basic energy movement exercise. These were fairly simple and somewhat close to what my friend had taught me. Then he had us sit down and do an energy channeling exercise through our lung tips visualizing white light coming through our thumb and small finger joined together and placed over the opposite lung tip. Thus our arms were crossed, our backs straight and knees shoulder distance apart.

One of my neighbors died yesterday of metastatic prostate cancer. Although I didn’t know the man at all, his wife was always kind. I really felt sad about his death and for the children he left behind.

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What’s All This Chemotion About?

This morning I went for a chest X-Ray, but I won’t know the results until tomorrow. I’m a little concerned, but not nearly as much as I am about my emotional state. It keeps rising and falling, just like my breath in the belly!

Cancerport was a bit disappointing this morning. I thought I would be able to share more of the emotional content of my life, but there were so many people there that I didn’t feel comfortable letting it all hang out. Many people complained of care that was not so good and one person said that she had to take charge herself. I realized that she was right and that this was what I had been doing and need to keep doing.

Chemotion is a term I just created. It refers to the emotional ups and downs that have been occurring in me over the past three weeks, since the completion of my chemotherapy. I like the word, and I’m going to continue to use it. I went to speak with D. S. about chemotion. She has been living with ovarian cancer since 1991, and has been sending my get-well cards almost weekly. She is a person with a high level of self-esteem and a strong will to live. She shared with me her similar experiences with swinging emotions, and I felt quite comforted.

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Hi Ho, Hi Ho…

Today I went to work in Menlo Park. Many people expressed how glad they were to see me, and I felt very supported. Now I am going to start work on the next generation project and try to contribute as much as I can.

When I got home, I tried out the moxibustion on myself. It seemed to have some effect, but I was too exhausted from setting up the environment and the long time in the car to go to and from work.

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Moxibustion

Today was another day of healing. I spent the morning working, but then went to see Marty Rossman at 1:15 for acupuncture and Dr. Halberg at 3:00 for a follow-up visit. The emotional impact of the acupuncture treatment was unsuspected. I have had acupuncture before, but today I really felt the presence of someone who I know loves me as well. He worked on the kidney meridian with needles for just a short time and then he applied moxibustion to the same meridians. Moxibustion is “the burning on the skin of the herb moxa.” In these days, they have sticky ends that you place on the meridians. Marty gave me a week’s supply so that I could apply the moxibustion to myself in between visits.

We had to wait an hour to see Dr. Halberg, but it was not so bad except for the fact that I had to reschedule my eye exam. She was her kind, caring self, in spite of being an hour behind schedule. I felt that she really paid attention to my physical and emotional needs, as I try to understand the effect healing on my life. She didn’t think anything of the lump I discovered last Friday, and said that it should be watched. She outlined my program for continued treatment, which consists of a chest X-Ray, complete blood count and blood chemistry, and cystoscopy every three months for the first year, every four months for the second year and every six months for the third through sixth year. I feel comfortable with this schedule, and the first thing I have to do is get the X-Ray, probably Thursday.

In the evening, my wife and I attended our respective groups at the Center for Attitudinal Healing. I was very touched by the stories people told, and I guess that’s why I keep coming back. I spoke mostly about how much love was coming into my life and how much difficulty my wife is having with being my primary care taker. The latter idea was picked up by some of the other members of the group. I really felt a lot of compassion for care givers. Remember, I was in that role when my son was sick 21 years ago!

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No Pot stickers for my Chop Sticks

Today I’m back to healing. I went to see Gail Teehan this morning and spent about an hour teaching her how to do a mind story. Then I thought I was scheduled in for a Feldenkrais Functional Integration lesson, but it turned out to be an hour and a half massage, and was it wonderful. It took me a little by surprise to have the massage, but she did such a good job, I didn’t mind! I remember crying several times, as she was working on my shoulders, and she said that she felt that all of the poisons are out of my system at last. We then had lunch together in the shopping center at a Chinese restaurant.

Next, I went to see Leslie Davenport. While I was waiting to see her, I managed to get a little work done. The session with her was so fine! I seem to come out of there with profound insights and a lot of wisdom. She really validated my use of mindfulness in my healing process. I am really fortunate to have three such remarkable healers in my life who I love very much. Of course I’m referring to Gail, Leslie, and Anna Halprin, who is getting a life-time achievement award for choreography at Duke University as I write. I’m grateful for my physicians, Drs. Neuwirth, Gullion, and Halberg, and I feel that they were wonderful technicians who implemented a protocol that I found in my own research. But I really feel that a lot of my physical healing and all of my mental and emotional healing  has come through the hands of Gail, Leslie, and Anna.

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Another No-Cancer Day!

Today was another day that you wouldn’t think I had cancer unless you asked! I spent the morning scanning images from the graduation and Father’s day last week. In the afternoon, we went to visit friends in San Mateo, and we took a walk that was the longest walk I’ve been able to manage since completing the chemotherapy. I didn’t think too much about my disease until I arrived home exhausted. Then I felt it in spades and choose to listen to Thich Nhat Hanh.

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Separate Cars, Separate Rows

This was one of the first days that I didn’t think much about the cancer. I worked in the morning and early afternoon to catch up on some coding that I haven’t been able to do because of feeling so bad. I also had lunch with the girls and made two copies of the graduation tape. Then I did a mind story and took a long bath. By the time I was done with these activities, I was ready for a night out on the town. We took our kids to the R. and J.’s house where we met M. and M. R. and their kids. All the kids stayed together and we went out for pizza and a movie. The men drove in one car and the ladies in another. We even sat in separate rows in the movie. We saw, “Ulee’s Gold.”

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Copyright © 2004-2018, Jerome Freedman, Ph. D.