Practice What You Preach!

February 22, 1997 – Practice What You Preach!

Today was an interesting day! I was feeling kind of down from hassling with the catheter. Taking a shower was a major production. I listened to tapes from Cancer as a Turning Point and read a lot in Love, Medicine and Miracles. But the turning point for me was when I decided to put everything down and create a fresh “mind story” to repair the wall of my bladder.

In this visualization, I envisioned a gap on the floor of my bladder where the cancer had been removed. Then I watched my cells construct first a bridge across the gap, and then I saw the gap fill in. The image was very real and I attribute this to an interesting episode of Nova in which a foot bridge was being constructed across a gorge through which a river ran in the country of the Inca’s somewhere in modern Peru, perhaps. The interesting thing about the Nova presentation was that the whole community turned out to build the bridge, and it was made entirely of grass ropes that everyone contributed to! So here I was, bridging the gap in my bladder with new cells constructed from grass roots of a concerted effort between all of my body resources.

When I came out of the mind story, my bag was full once again, and I felt one hundred percent better.

>>> Next…

Home Again!

February 20, 1997 – Home Again!

The morning in the hospital was fairly uneventful. I continued to read and listen to tapes until Dr. Neuwirth showed up. When he did, he explained that he took more tissue out of the bladder wall and left me with a very thin membrane. To help the healing, he wanted me to keep the catheter in until Tuesday. However, he didn’t seem to find any more gross cancer during the TURBT. Although the catheter is rather uncomfortable, I was very excited that there was no more visible tumor in my bladder! He was even telling me to “fatten up” for the chemotherapy that was going to happen in three weeks. I got the impression that he was satisfied with my decision to go with the Shipley method.

I spent the afternoon completing the “mind story” on the practice pages and submitting my URL to the various search engines. Somehow, time seems to flow so much faster now. My guess is that once you are confronted with a life-threatening illness, you value each minute a lot more. For example, when I played tennis on Monday, I thought it was very precious time, as I don’t know when the next time I’ll be able to play. Another example: Mala’s cooking today seemed to be extra special.

>>> Next…

TURBT

TRUBT

January 27, 1997 – First Hospital Stay, Continued

My refusal to sign the operation afforded me another whole day of waiting. In the morning, I had visits from Dr. Belknap and Dr. Neuwirth, both of which were very helpful in pointing out the pros and cons of the alternative anesthetic methods, but I still hadn’t made up my mind. I wanted to speak with an expert.

Dr. Neuwirth tried to prepare me for the best case scenario, which would involve complete resection of the bladder tumor followed by quarterly inspections with a cystoscopy and possibly coupled with chemotherapy agents inserted directly in the bladder. I found this discussion rather informative, but would have preferred a more accurate reading of my tumor.

Since my daughter was ill, my wife couldn’t be with me the whole time, so I spent the day receiving phone calls and visitors, and listening to classical music, and Dr. Rossman’s tape. Since I couldn’t eat or drink, my thoughts continually turned to food, especially when my roommate ate his meals. In between time, I continued my meditation and visualization practices, which kept me from getting to anxious about the ensuing operation.

At around 3:00 P. M., my wife returned to the hospital, just in time for the meeting with the anesthesiologist. His name was Christophe Dannello and he was very nice. He carefully explained the various options, and with his guidance, I decided to go with the epidural.

TRUBT
Transurethral Resection of Bladder Tumor (TURBT)

Around 6:30 P.M., they came to wheel me off to surgery. I grabbed Dr. Rossman’s tape and headed off to the operating room. I was given a sedative intravenously and placed on the table. A moment later, a small needle was applied to my lower back and I was turned over and placed into position. The oxygen feeder was placed in my nose and my legs were positioned in place for the surgery.

Then… I was gone! I woke up in the recovery room and spent what seemed like only fifteen minutes there. I was taken back to my room and my wife was with me for the next half-hour or so. Then she had to get home to the children, so there I was, lying flat on my back with a catheter in me. I started to feel pain from the epidural and was given “candy” – vicodin. This controlled the pain.

I proceeded to do my “mind story” and had a fairly good night sleep until I was rudely awakened for vital signs around midnight. Luckily, the rest of the night was uneventful, even though I was leaking blood through my catheter.

Copyright © 2004-2018, Jerome Freedman, Ph. D.