TURBT

The surgery went well, at least as far as the reports I’ve received so far have shown. I lingered in the recovery room until about 10:15. I wanted to be sure that I would have minimal problems with the after effects of the anesthesia, so I stayed a little longer than expected. I was fed some juice and crackers and that seemed to satisfy me for a while.

At home, Mala has made chicken soup and a baked potato for lunch. I spend most of the day going in and out of sleep and watching the blood flow out of my bladder. I spent much time meditating and watching Stephen Hawking’s series on Into the Universe from the Discovery Channel. Night came quickly, but sleep was a little difficult until I took my regular doses of melatonin, Bone Up and D3. I had to use the bathroom about five times during the night, but managed to get a good night’s sleep.

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Surgery Tomorrow

This evening was the final lecture in the IHH mini-medical series on The Brain Revealed – From Chemistry to Mystery. I knew that Dr. Molly Roberts was speaking, so in spite of surgery scheduled for tomorrow, Mala and I went to hear her talk and Carolyn met us there. It was phenomenal! She spoke on the connection between the brain, five senses, and integrative medicine. You can probably get her slides early next week from the IHH web site. I was extremely moved by her talk, as I actually am involved in many of the activities she recommended.

Another wonderful thing happened: Sandra Harner brought me a CD on Shamanic Drumming from the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, which was founded by her husband, Dr. Michael Harner. I felt really blessed that she would make such a genuine offer of generosity to me.

All of this had the effect of increasing my state of calm for the surgery tomorrow.

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News of the Day

I received three new pieces of information today that are worthy of reporting:

  1. The blood tests from yesterday revealed that my TSH was slightly high.
  2. I shouldn’t play tennis for a week after the surgery – boo!
  3. The CT scan revealed no spread of disease – this is good news!

In addition, my boss was very forgiving of my situation.

Check out this link on Extra about a cancer cure in Los Angeles by Dr. Paul Song. I believe that El Camino Hospital in Mountain View, CA has the same device as Dr. Song.

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Pre-op Exam

I had an appointment today with Dr. Nagar in Sausalito. She is a young woman (compared to me!) with a lot of knowledge and enthusiasm who speaks very rapidly which is typical of Indians. I like her a lot. She had a hard time believing that I was 70! My exam was mostly uneventful and included an EKG, but I have to give more blood tests tomorrow for determination of liver function, thyroid, and other conditions not measured by Dr. Neuwirth’s tests. No big deal! I’ll go tomorrow at 8:00 and it will be done with.

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Lunch at the Club

Dr. Martin Rossman met me at the Harbor Point Tennis and Swim Club for a long delayed birthday lunch (his). The club was crowded with swimmers, tennis players, and spectators, so it took a hour to get our food! But it was a beautiful, warm day and Harbor Point is not a bad place to be. I chose this spot because I had arranged to play in the late morning.

I shared my experience of the shamanic journey with him in as much detail as possible. I knew that from his vast knowledge and experience with guided imagery that he would not offer an opinion of the journey, but he did think that it represents a “good omen.”

I joined TeamInspire tonight. I’d like to invite other members to check out this site and Mindfulness in Healing. Please check out my profile.

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A Raven or a Hawk?

About a month ago, Mala and I attended a pep talk for the benefit of the Foundation for Shamanic Studies at a beautiful home in Tiburon. Dr. Michael Harner was the featured presenter. I had met him in conjunction with the Institute for Health and Healing event in 2009, where he was honored with the Pioneering Award in Integrative Medicine. He is a lovely man with a warm heart and a peaceful spirit. He is the father of shamanic studies in the whole Western world. Trained as an anthropologist, he spent time in the rain forests of South America studying indigenous cultures and was soon trained in the practices of shamanism. His many books and public talks have made shamanism an acceptable form of integrative medicine.

Susan Mokelke, the foundation director, then spoke about current activities and showed two video clips. One had to do with South American shamans and the other with shamans in Nepalese or Tibetan extract. Then she offered to conduct an evening experience in the practices of shamanism sometime in April, and tonight was the night!

After a short introduction, we did a practice drumming followed by a traditional shamanic journey. We were given the instructions to lie down and cover our eyes to make the room as dark as possible. We were then to descend to the “lower world” through some chosen mechanism and greet an animal. From there, we should just observe or experience.

Susan kept the drum beat for 15 minutes. I started at the top of the stairs leading down to China Cove in Point Lobos State Reserve near Carmel, California. There are 101 steps leading to the beach, but I seemed to float down them at a remarkable pace. Once at the bottom of the stairs, I crossed the beach and slid under the green seaweed that always accumulates there. Within an instant, I was transported to the so-called lower world, where I found myself on a deck of a cabin located about half way down into a forest valley. I lay on the deck and a large bird – either a raven or a hawk. Almost instantaneously after the bird arrived, it started pecking away at the polyps. Frequently, it would leave, possibly to feed little ones, but it continued to come back to peck away until the returning beats were sounded on the drum.

When I shared the experience with my partner in the journey I recognized the possibility that the bird, which also may have been a falcon, may have pecked away both polyps completely. This would not be the first time that I have seen masses disappear. When Micah was nine, he was rushed to the hospital with a stomach ache which turned out to appear to be a mass in his abdomen based on x-ray data. Mala and I rushed back to the hospital to be with him and the next pictures revealed no such mass. We were there to provide love and support and a whole lot more.

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Cystscopy

As mentioned in the introduction, I had my annual checkup this day. It was actually six weeks past one year, but I was prepared to even wait longer to go in, due to twelve years of a clear bladder. For the first time, Dr. Neuwirth found two small polyps in my bladder. I was surprised when he removed the scope without taking samples for biopsy like he usually did. He told me to get dressed and he would come back and talk to me. When Mala came into the room, he told us that he found the polyps and that I would need a CT scan and a TURBT (transurethral resection of the bladder tumor). So we go busy making plans for a CT scan on Friday and out-patient surgery one week from Friday.

The combination of Mala’s infection and the dense material I saw in my urine had led me to prepare for something like this. I had resumed my imagery and mindfulness practices around a healthy bladder, so I didn’t take it too badly.

When we got home, I started down the road of research on bladder polyps and called Michael Broffman. Michael was encouraging and said that in his experience, the polyps are usually benign. We’ll see!

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The Brain Revealed: From Chemistry to Mystery

The Institute for Health and Healing (IHH) sponsored the Roberta E. Neustadter Mini-Medical series on The Brain Revealed: From Chemistry to Mystery. I attended the two previous evenings, so this was my third. The second talk was given Allison Shapiro, who made a remarkable recovery from a nearly fatal double stem stroke. I had met her about a year ago at a Saybrook event and we spoke for a long time.

The main highlight of Allison’s talk was her paying attention to the slightest movement and making an effort to enhance the healing possibilities resulting from that attention. When our client heard this, she was very touched.

After the talks, I went to the rest room and noticed some dense fluid flowing more quickly than the rest. I knew it was time to call Dr. Neuwirth to schedule my annual cystscopy. This actually also come coincidentally with my wife’s urinary tract infection, which was treated with antibiotics.

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More than Nine Years Have Passed

Today, I begin revamping the web site by adding features that may improve the readability and access to information. I am also adding a section on books on cancer.

When I first started working on this web site, I only had done one site before The Enneagram in the Electronic Tradition. Now that I have developed Jewels By Mala, NewTerra, Jobs-Are-Us, Mountain Sangha, and MICAH Affiliates, as well as internal web sites for The Technical Committee, I have enough experience to do a better job on Yellow Stream.

In the meantime, I am experiencing excellent health. My last cystscopy was in June, 2005 and everything was good. I am experiencing no after effects of the radiation or chemotherapy, other than ease of exhaustion.

My son, Micah is living in New York and doing computer graphics and web site development. He has started a theatre company, QED Productions with a group of his friends. He produced and acted in Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia last November at the Greenwich Theatre, which Mala and I attended. The group plans three productions for next season. Come if you can!

Rachael is entering her last year in architecture school at Woodbury University in San Diego, CA. She is a lovely and kind young woman with a bright future.

Jessica graduates with honors and a double major in Spanish and Journalism from the University of Oregon in three weeks. She will be teaching in Spain in the fall under the auspices of the Spanish Consulate. Mazel Tov – Jessica.

Mala is a wonderful and supporting spouse. She is doing great work with her jewelry designs.

For the past four years, I have been intimately involved with the Mountain Sangha in Mill Valley. Our sangha practices in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh, whom I’ve written about in previous chapters. Please read My Breakfast with Thay to see what happened when I visited Plum Village for the second time in March, 2006. It was a wonderful visit!

My Buddhist practice now consists of morning meditation, tennis when possible, walking meditation, and reading of Buddhist scriptures. I am an aspirant in the Order of Interbeing. I am also working towards offering a class on Mindfulness in Healing through California Cancer Care and other institutions. The class is based on my experience, which is documented in these pages.

My tennis game continues to improve. I play for Harbor Point and our team went to the divisional playoffs last month as a wild card team. My partner and I won one match, but lost two others – one in a tie break. I try to play every day that I don’t have to go to Palo Alto (where my office of TheTC [see below] is located).

I now have perhaps the best work in the computer industry. I am working as a consultant to the Technical Committee (TheTC) of the Department of Justice. TheTC is chartered to monitor the compliance of Microsoft with the antitrust settlement agreement which just has been extended until 2009. Because of the work I did between September, 2004 and December, 2004, 30 engineers have jobs and we are making sure that Microsoft correctly documents their proprietary networking protocols for licensees.

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Copyright © 2004-2018, Jerome Freedman, Ph. D.