Lessons Learned

To continue my story, I’d like to share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned in dealing with cancer. First and foremost is the love and support of caring friends and family. For this, I am very thankful, and don’t know exactly what to say beyond how difficult it would have been without them.

Secondly, I learned the value of doing my own research, and, at the same time, having the support of competent physicians and healers. I could not ignore the input of the doctors, but I knew enough to present a viable alternative. I am grateful to Doctors Harry Neuwirth, David Gullion, Francine Halberg, Sara Huang, Robert Belknap, Peter Carroll, Jeffrey Norton, Peter Klaphaak, and William Shipley for their willingness to put up with my radical approach to healing. When I think about the possibility of having had a radical cystectomy and compare it with the treatments I’ve had, I really count my blessing at having made the right decision for me. The radical cystectomy could have led to complications too numerous to understand at the time of the surgery. I am happy that I bypassed this option.

Thirdly, I don’t have any clue about the direct effect of the cancer support groups, alternative medicine, supplements, body work, and psychotherapy had on the physical healing of my illness, but they were all indispensable for my emotional and mental healing. To this, I owe a debt of gratitude to Dr. Martin Rossman, Thich Nhat Hanh, Leslie Davenport, Anna Halprin, Michael Broffman, Gail Teehan, Elyse Genuth, Dr. Van Vu, Dr. Patricia Frisch, and Alan Sheets for their contribution to my healing efforts, be they of the body, emotions, mind, and spirit. I guess I’ll never know whether these methods had anything to do with my healing, but I don’t want to think about how it would be if I hadn’t done them.

Finally, even with all the love and support of the people I’ve already mentioned, I have to acknowledge my own part in this process. I did my research, found a creative outlet for my experience in these pages, practiced mindfulness during critically ill times as well as healthy ones, and continued to look forward to a happy and healthy life beyond cancer. My goal has been to maintain as much mindfulness in all my activities as possible, including, but not limited to time on the tennis courts, walking meditation, computer work, and enjoyable outings with family and friends. My experience has been beneficial to other people, as well, through my web site, support groups and contact with friends taken ill by a similar disease. I am happy that I can help them, but not quite happy with the path that led me to the knowledge I have to do so.

In conclusion, let be state once again how important I think it is to combine the best of Western medicine with natural healing methods to come up with a treatment plan that can result in a cure. The process of healing the body must be accompanied by the process of healing the emotions, the mind and the spirit.

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The Big Answer

Today, I very nervous. I am supposed to have the catheter removed and receive the results of the biopsy this morning. I even spilled the catheter bag! I only have to wait another hour though.

Back from the surgeon! The preliminary biopsy report was NEGATIVE!
Breathing in,
Breathing out,
HEALTHY cells grow all by themselves!
I am FREE of cancer!

I have been ecstatic all day! A new perspective on combining alternative medicine with standard medical practice should be instituted nation-wide. This is a new theme for my work.

The complete biopsy report came in around 5:00 P. M. Although the results indicated that I had a complete response to the Shipley protocol, there was some new “transitional cell carcinoma, grade II/IV, without evidence of invasion.” This means that my bladder is still susceptible to new growth, and I have to focus on prevention once the next round of chemo and radiation is complete. In essence, we continue with the bladder sparing protocol. This, in of itself, is quite a victory and cause for celebration.


So when I arrived at Anna Halprin‘s class, I was greeted with applause and cheers, and a spirit of celebration. After our usual round of checking in, we did some group movement, continuing the spirit of celebration. We followed this with more floor exercises from last week. Anna had us visualize a deeply relaxing spot in nature, and I immediately went to China Beach at Point Lobos State Reserve, near Carmel, California. The picture I drew was of this very spot. I wrote,

“Guarding the sense gates – I can secure the future by mindfulness in the present.”

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Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s Off to Work I Go

April 16, 1997 – Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s Off to Work I Go

R. T., my boss, and I are met to discuss my raise and bonus, so I went to Menlo Park for the day. Marty Rossman was traveling to some Alternative Medicine conference in Orlando, so I drove him to the airport, which is on my way. This gave me a chance to chat with Marty about my life and ask him about his. The main point of our discussion was the effectiveness of guided imagery in my cure. Of course, he’s the master! When I asked him about Yellow Stream, he said that he was very impressed with the resources section.

I met my son for lunch at the Uptime Cafe at NGC. I had lunch cards from when I taught a class at NGC, so we got to pig out on cafeteria food! He was fairly talkative about his life, but we didn’t discuss my illness at length. He is going to sing for Gail Teehan’s mother on Friday night.

So, the day turned out to be kind of a normal work day, as my life is becoming more and more normal and my symptoms are affecting my daily activities less and less. For example, I didn’t have time for a mind story today, but I compensated by going to bed by 8:30.

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A Nice Day by the Bay

March 9, 1997 – A Nice Day by the Bay

We had to go to a first communion ceremony this morning, and for me, this is an unusual experience. There were several interesting things about the service. First of all, there were many prayers that I remember from my youth in synagogue. Although I knew this to be true from before, it really struck home today because of my acute awareness of little things in life due to my illness. I almost felt like belting out the Hebrew for the prayers!

Somewhere in Spain!

Secondly, I was reminded of one of my favorite prayers growing up. It goes like this:

May the words of my mouth
and the meditations of my heart
Be acceptable to Thee
in Thy sight Oh Lord,
My strength and my redeemer.

I recited this prayer along with the Shemah each night before I went to bed. Now I observe my breath and do other breathing exercises. As long as each is done with spirit, they have the possibility of achieving the same result of peace of mind and a wise and understanding heart which can discern between good and evil.

The views from the church were the first occurrence of spectacular views of the day.

I left early to meet my friends from my enneagram circle group who met me at home. We went on down to Sausalito, and enjoyed a nice lunch at a picnic table by the bay. We spoke of treatment options and alternative medicine. I felt totally supported by my friends.

Unfortunately, I had to leave them for an acupuncture treatment with Dr. Van Vu, which was quite relaxing. Instead of going home and resting, I drove to Belvedere to take a walk with T. R We saw panoramic views of San Francisco, Oakland and the East Bay, and of course, Sausalito! What a gorgeous day! It makes you want to be alive, just to feel the clean, fresh air flowing through your lungs. Boy, was I exhausted, though.

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Copyright © 2004-2018, Jerome Freedman, Ph. D.